Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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