FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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