I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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