R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
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