Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
This is the high leading the old right now
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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