two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
