Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
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No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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