My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
