Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
There r osticjed everywhere
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
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