it wasn't lemon gatorade
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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