I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
