Small penises have feelings too.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
