so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
