**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
