he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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