I wish I only lived at night.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
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He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
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if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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