covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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