i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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