Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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