jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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