I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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