there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize