So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
