she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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