im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
