so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
