just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
