He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
