Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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