haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
