I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
