I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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