I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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