return my video game
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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