there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
