Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
