Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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