I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
