We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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