FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
