yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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