Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Randomize
