It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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