I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
