Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
