I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
