happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I need to stop coming to work sober
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
