She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
