I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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