What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
