I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
