shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
