Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
