I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better