You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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