i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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