I wanna bring you to show and tell
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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