Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I am full of burrito and curiosity
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
