Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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