apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
