I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Randomize